Blue Wolf Reviews

Tag: dying

  • Walking A Friend Home

    Walking A Friend Home

    A Practical Guide To Consciously Living & Dying

    There are three words in the English language that apply to everyone, Birth, Life and Death. Simple words but also very powerful as the sequence we live on this earth applies equally to everyone.

    Some journeys are short; days, hours or even weeks, while others live longer than ever before. But, as with all things considered as delicate areas to discuss, the eventual end of life or death, is seldom planned for or even discussed with family and friends, which often makes things very difficult.

    Kathy Arnos has spent much of her adult life ‘walking’ with people facing their final days or weeks or moments on this earth and understands deeply the vulnerability felt by everyone when faced with death.

    Over these many years she has come to understand the value of planning for your end-of-life experience before it is far too late and the relief it can bring to close family and friends when they understand what you would like and why.

    It is a given that death, and grief, will occur in your life. It is also a fact that many people  will face this final moment alone. She advocates that by having an honest and open conversation about death, yours, or someone else’s, you will have a far greater sense of belonging and connection, allowing the person in eventual transition to depart with a sense of completion.

    In Walking a Friend Home, she gently removes the many ‘western’ barriers that make the end-of-life discussion difficult, replacing them with gentle guidelines to help begin the conversation when it is required.

    Using her personal experience and that of friends, she reaches out with love and understanding to encourage everyone to have the courage to discuss what will be their or your final moments.

    Not a sad book, but one filled with a vast array of wonderful material and information, along with stories of many friends in transition, if you have not already had the conversation, after reading Walking a Friend Home you will feel well equipped to discuss and plan your final hurrah on this earth; whenever it will occur.

  • Performance and Purpose in Dying and Death

    Performance and Purpose in Dying and Death

    It is said and never a truer word ever was spoken, than from the moment of birth we as humans are already facing the ultimate journeys ending; that of death or dying. For some, this comes earlier than others, with many living a very, very long life. This then begs the question why is it that we are so afraid of death if it is already a foregone conclusion.

    CK Hogan has in Performance and Purpose in Death and Dying, taken this subject matter and looks at the process of dying and death from a very broad perspective, in the desire to remove some of the fear and denial that surrounds the only surety in life.

    No one medium more than another has been used to establish the various areas of discussion ranging widely from Buddhism, psychology, science, spiritualism, philosophy, fear and denial.

    Near Death Experience, which is fascinating in extreme, as it can possibly show a small sliver of what comes next after death, is discussed in detail. Hogan also looks at the teachings of the Church and faiths in regard to prayer, faith, enlightenment, forgiveness and ‘the possibility of God’, all areas of strong belief and what it all means in relation to Death.

    Hogan’s thoughts, findings and concepts are backed up with many, many quotes from such people as Eckhart Tolle, Aldous Huxley, excerpts from Andrew Holeck’s Preparing to Die, (2013) which is fascinating in its concept, with Emily Bronte offering her thoughts on death in the poem, No Coward Soul Is Mine.

    Climate Change is also investigated, as it is considered this massive event is creating a spiritual emergency for humans, as they are having finally to reconsider their place in the wider concept of environment. We are in so many aspects of life, being forced to look at the serious issue that we (humans) are the highest evolved species in the animal kingdom, whether we like it or not; by refusing to accept this basic tenant, we are destroying our habitat, our world and in doing so bringing forward fears and the specter of death and dying.

    This profound statement “The secret of life is to die before you die and find that there is no death.”,  from Eckhart Tolle encapsulates all there is to consider and accept and is in so many ways the underpinning tenant of The Purpose of Death and Dying.

    Fascinating reading is to be discovered, challenging concepts, fresh perspectives and a better understanding of the final performance or role eventually faced by each one of us, is contained within The Purpose of Death and Dying.

  • Lily Harford’s Last Request

    Lily Harford’s Last Request

    Joana Buckley explains in the beginning of Lily Hartford’s Last Request she has long wished to write about assisted dying. She clearly remembered her much loved Grandfather tied to a chair in his Nursing Home, recognising no-one, bored and so unhappy. Her Father was destined to suffer the same fate but refused medication and died prematurely. Assisted dying a huge topic to discuss and the characters that interact in this story help to give a variety of perspectives.

    Lilly Hartford had been a strong, amazing woman who lost her husband at an early age and raised her daughter by herself. She created an accounting business and was, in all ways, a successful woman. She and her daughter, Pauline, had a special bond, and always cared deeply for each other. Pauline was a school principal, married to Sam, and a very busy woman but she always looked out for Lilly.

    Donna was a worker at the home where Lilly died. For many reasons, Donna was close to Lilly and heartbroken when Lilly asked her to assist with her dying. For all of these characters, the thought of death means something quite different.

    The loss of independence for Lilly was unbearable. For Pauline, the loss of “Her rock” meant her world was losing its base. For Donna, refusing to help Lilly meant watching her slow decline into unhappiness.

    The anguish and agony felt by each of characters is apparent. For all of them, accepting the changes in life is traumatic. Joanna Buckley has used flashbacks in reverse chronology to give an added insight into Lilly’s earlier years. This is a topic that most of us have given some thought to and is also personal journey through the eyes of the characters in this story.

  • The Art of Dying

    The Art of Dying

    This most enjoyable Historical Fiction, The Art of Dying, is written by a husband and wife team, under the pseudonym of Ambrose Parry. Chris Brookmyre is an award-winning author and his wife, Marisa Haetzman, is an anaesthetist. They have combined their talents superbly, to produce this second novel. The first novel introduced us to the main characters Will Raven and Sarah Fisher. Both novels are set in Edinburgh in the mid 1800’s.

    In “The Art of Dying,” we are introduced to a world of medicine that often leaves the reader aghast. Chloroform has just been discovered as a form of anaesthetic, and its uses are still being explored widely. One doctor takes a small amount each evening after his meal to study the effects. There is professional jealousy about the person (Dr Simpson) who claimed to be the first to use it.

    In this book, Will Raven becomes an assistant to Dr Simpson, a man of great humanity and kindness. Will has completed his medical training and has been abroad for twelve months. He now returns to find things have changed. His deep friendship with the assistant Sarah cannot be continued, as she has married another doctor. As Sarah was a housemaid, this was seen to be deplorable. The signs of feminism and equality are beginning to be recognised by a few. The challenges put before women almost seemed insurmountable, but Sarah is not only extremely intelligent, but a fierce learner and fighter.

    At this time, patients who had survived a medical procedure and appeared to be improving, started to die. After a while, it is noted by Will and Sarah that all these people, in different circumstances, had the same symptoms. Some of them were in hospitals and some of them at home. So begins a murder mystery which slowly unravels to reveal the thinking of the times, regarding the poor and deprived.

    Will, seeking the truth about the mysterious deaths, has to work with Sarah. It becomes obvious that he regrets not marrying her himself. His character is exposed as rather ambitious and concerned with the opinions of his peer group.

    The delight in reading this story is the meshing together of these fascinating threads of medicine, murder and romance. The accuracy in depicting the history and the times is reflected in the language used. The characters have strengths and weaknesses, and serve to show how we progress through life with tiny changes that eventually create a whole new pathway. Many of the characters in this book are based on real people, giving it an authentic feel.